To all high school and college students:

To all those going into high school or college this summer or in the fall, this is what I learned there:
1. Someone will tell you to follow and learn from the 4.0 kids. Screw them. Later on, they’ll work in a department store while you get to work at something you actually like and get paid much, much more for.
2. You really will use algebra, just not for a long time.
3. Take electives you feel like taking. The ones you should take won’t be anything you’ll want to remember in 10 years.
4. Learn to spell and to copy-edit. No one will hire you if you don’t spell the job you want right, and no one will listen to you if they can’t read your directions even if you’re the boss.
5. Suffer in silence through the P.E. classes you think are stupid. They actually are stupid and unless you have plans to be a dancer, you will never use modern dance. Ever. Concentrate in archery, though. You’re going to need that to fight the zombies decently.
6. Pay attention to the kids who help you and who you help. They’re the ones who’ll share their class notes when you miss a class without making you pay or feel like crap for asking.
7. Ask the teachers and instructors questions. Stick your hand up to give an answer even if you’re not sure. A lot of teachers give bonus points for trying. And for crying out loud, don’t sit in the back of the class so you can screw around. You have an entire life of lunch breaks to do that later on. Learn something.
8. If your counselor doesn’t ask you how you’re going to college or what you’ll do after that, sit there until they do. Too many don’t give a rat’s ass about you, so you have to do the caring about your future yourself.
9. Don’t write in your books. You’ll either have to pay for it at the end of the semester, or won’t be able to sell it back. Don’t get stuck with a book you only looked at once for a test but wrote/drew in 5,000 times.
10. If high school or college is totally boring & you have something else you want to do and can make money at it and it’s legal, go do it. The world does not depend on a nifty piece of paper on the wall. It does depend on people like you who can make things, create things, help others, and keep things working.
Now shoo.

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